Will I change?
by Opal Koboi Fowl
Summary: Can Artemis Fowl fix this broken, sad, emo girl? Can he? Find out.
1. Chapter 1 I bleed

**Hi.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Artemis Fowl characters. Or the song Going Under by Evanescence.**

Alex's POV

I felt like I was about to faint. I hadn't slept in about a week and barely had any food. I hadn't come out of my room because I just wanted to be alone. But those parents of mine sat in front of my door begging me to come out.

I passed the time by re-reading the Artemis Fowl series.

I looked like Opal, but Opal's skin was darker. I wondered if he was real. But I knew it wasn't because it was put on the fiction shelf.

"Alex! Please come out!" my mother begged. I screamed no and curled up in a ball.

Hi. My name is Alex Fowlester (I am not kidding, that is my last name!) and I am ten. I was an emo and a nerd. Yes, I said it. I am ten and I am already emo. I had brown eyes, and short, layered black hair that covered on eye and went down to my shoulders.

I was not rich, nor poor. I was very smart but hid it by never talking unless it was the teacher or friend.

I always had my head bowed and finished my work quickly. I had mild OCD and miner anger issues. I was said to have depression, but I didn't, I just hated talking to people.

If I wasn't near anyone I would show the real me, but that was rare. Not even my parents saw it. I was always afraid that if I showed the real me, they would reject me and kill me.

I knew the last part was stupid and would never happen, but I still worried. "Never." I whispered, tears silently streaming down my face. When I was nine and under my parents never talked to me.

I think that was one of the reasons I hid my real self. "Please?!" my father cried. "I SAID NOOOOOOOO!" I faked an angry voice. "I am your mother, I demand this-"

I tuned her out. I put my ear buds in and started reading. I was at the part when Artemis- exhaustion took me over and I guess I fainted.

I woke up in a bed I guessed was mine. I felt a little movement next to me. I opened my eyes and turned over. At the same time the person turned over and looked at me.

Good thing I was in my real clothes (that made of a black/purple chocker, black make up, black lip stick, black t- shirt, black tight jeans, purple leather jacket, and black boots.) the person was a boy that looked like…. That looked like Artemis Fowl! But of course he can't be.

At the same time we screamed. I scrambled out of my bed. Someone burst through the door and had me pinned against the wall. I was just staring back at the big figure like, okay. I was used to this position. I was the person that always got bullied.

I sighed. The light came on and my eyes mentally got wide for two things. One it was indeed Artemis Fowl and Butler, the one that pinned me, and two was the light. I never turned on the light, I secretly used candles. I never went into the light if absolutely needed.

I winced as the light hit my eyes_. OWWWW!_ They screamed in pain. I forced myself not to close my eyes. "Who are you?" Artemis said in his Irish accent. "Alex Fowlester. What are you doing here?" I asked as Butler grabbed my arms and put them behind me and held them against his chest. My voice was very quiet from not using it.

"What _am I_ doing here? This is my home. The question is, what are _you_ doing here?" he narrowed his eyes. D'arvit the book was right. He is definitely too formal. "I have no idea. I was in my room and I just, like, woke up here." I said in my soft, quiet voice. Artemis was staring at me. Studying my clothes.

"What are you, emo? And how old are you, twelve?" he asked in a cold voice. "I am ten." I cast my eyes down. I didn't answer his first question. I don't like telling people. His voice was so loud, I disliked it. I hadn't even noticed I was flinching as he spoke. He took a step closer and I instantly backed up.

I don't like being very close to people, but being this close to a Butler made my want to die. But being close to two people was just too much. "What is wrong." His voice was closer. I bowed my head so I didn't have to look at him. I don't like eye contact either.

I shook my head, not wanting to speak. "I demand you speak. This is my Manor." He smirked. "Nothing."

I whispered even more quiet. If he knew I was emo, he should know everything an emo hates. Or he does and just wants to torcher me. I thought he became a little nicer once he met Holly and the other fairies.

I guess I was wrong. "What was that?" he asked a little louder. I flinched and tried to back up. "Nothing." I said just a little louder. "I can not hear you. Speak regularly." He walked up to me. He was too close, I needed to get father back. I tried to move, but Butler held me in place. So I bowed my head even more.

"Nothing." I said between clenched teeth in my regular voice. It was till soft I guess because he around the bed and walked even closer.

I mentally broke down and cried. "You are too close." I whispered. He didn't hear me. "You don't seem to be acting as if you're fine." He moved a little closer. I tried to move back again, but couldn't. I swallowed.

So to relive my discomfort I clenched my nails into my palms, probably making them bleed. I felt the pain, but didn't care. I also felt that nice small stream of blood trickle down. I thanked the lord mentally for letting me feel the pain.

It told me I was still alive. Sometimes I broke down because I couldn't feel it. The thing was that my therapist had prescribed me pills so I didn't feel the pain. He thought I would stop, but I never did. I mean, I didn't cut myself with a knife; I bit my lips or scrapped my nails against my skin.

Or did what I was doing right now. "Butler, she's making herself bleed! Make sure she doesn't hurt herself more. I will ask Juliet to get the aid kit." Artemis walked over to something and Butler pried my fists open.

He set me in a chair. I still kept my head down so I didn't see him. I closed my fist when I thought he was looking away and dug my nails back in, making sure I still felt the pain. I exhaled in relief when I felt that searing pain overwhelm me.

"Open your fist." He tapped them, giving me a chance to do it. I swallowed and didn't. My throat was dry. I was happy that I got to see my favorite characters, a weird feeling for me, and angry that they were this close, yet I was happy about the closeness. I know it sounds weird, but I have no words to express the feeling.

Butler once again opened my fist and held them like that. I heard the door open and rustling. "Are you okay?" a female's voice. Juliet. "D'arvit, I am fine." I said a little louder than normal so they could hear me. I accidently slipped a fairy word in my sentence.

Oh, now they know that I know about the People. "How do you know that word?" Artemis asked as Butler bandaged my hands. "I will not tell you." I looked up a little. "You have too." His voice cold and loud. I flinched with his every word. I guess he noticed that because he softened his voice a little, but not a lot.

"And why is that." I smirked mentally. "If you don't, I will call some friends and they will make you. Or my Butler will." Artemis sneered. "Whatever." I rolled my eyes even though no one could see me. Someone pushed my bang back so you could see my left eye.

It hadn't seen light in at least five weeks, so tears gathered in that eye. I blinked really fast and pushed the hair back into place.

It couldn't have been Artemis or Butler, so I guess it was Juliet. I was very scared that she was this close, and tried to sit in the lotus position. Butler finished my hands and I pulled them back into my pockets and cracked my knuckles.

It was a habit of mine. "Tell me how you know that word." he demanded. I decided to make him frightened, instead of him scaring me. You see, he hadn't told me his name, but I knew it from the book. "Artemis, I will not." I shook my head. I heard a soft intake of breath. "How do you know my name?" he asked coldly with that same loud voice, in which I cringed.

"Artemis, look at the girl! You're scaring her." Juliet's shrill voice exclaimed. Artemis paid her no attention. "You don't need to know." I sighed. "Butler." There was shuffling. He is more stuck up in real life. I actually mentally laughed. I am becoming soft, said a part of my brain.

My head was forced up. I cast my eyes down and never made eye contact. Butler couldn't scare m. I am going through middle school. Once you go to Milkerful middle you are never afraid of anything.

Butler-

**Please review and tell me if you like it. Like the hangy? Yes, no?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Come on! You know you need to review! Come on!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Artemis Fowl characters. Or the song Bring Me To Life by Evanescence.**

_Butler-_

Butler looked me straight in the eye. D'arvit. "How do you know that word." His loud booming voice. "I do not know what you are talking about." I decided to lie.

"Yes, you do. Butler could snap your neck in one movement. If you don't want that to happen, I suggest you speak." Artemis nodded and I smiled. "Yes, of course he will. And then my secret will die with me." I gave him a vampire smile that I was born with.

"Fine. I will be right back." Artemis stood up and was almost to the door when I said. "Really, Mud boy?" I really wanted to freak him out, but nothing I did would. I was mad, a feeling I was used to.

He quickened his pace and reached the door. "Don't let her out. She may walk around, but do not let her on my computer. And don't let her hurt herself."

Artemis walked out of the room. I instantly dashed to the corner, bringing my knees to my chest. I put my head down so I didn't have to look at anyone. I put in my head phones I had found in my pocket. It was playing Bring Me To Life.

I was thinking about how I got here and how I was going to get out. Maybe it was a dream. But if it was, it felt really real.

I didn't even realize I was singing softly. '_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?' _ I sighed and closed my mouth when I realized it.

How can I get out? I couldn't think because there was something else on my mind. One thought that I had never thought before. Can I kill myself? It was such a horrible world! I mentally screamed at myself to shut up. I am so weird! I hate it! Why can't I be someone else?!

Someone normal? What can I do? I feel numb! I started to panic. My head shot up and I scraped my nails against my skin, making a long slash.

I sighed as I felt the pain swell up and the blood drip down my arm. Juliet and Butler rushed to me and held my arms. Juliet started working on the bandages.

I pulled my ear phones out and actually looked one of them in the eyes. "Why are you putting that stuff on my arm?" I asked, even though I knew what it was. "Because you're bleeding!

You need to stop this. You're hurting yourself!" Juliet finished and sat by me. Butler was staring at me. "I don't care if I hurt myself or not. We are all going to die at some point, so why does it matter If I do?" I rolled my eyes.

"Because! I –uh…" Juliet trailed off and I muttered cowpog. "I would rather die than live." I lied. "WHAT!" Juliet thought I was going to commit suicide. "No, I am not going to kill myself, it was just a statement.

You just don't know how it is to be me." I sighed and put my head down. "Then what is it like?" Juliet asked. "For a thirteen year old, you are pretty small." Juliet tapped her chin. "Wait, you think I am a teen? I am only ten."

I coughed. My voice was so quiet, I could barely hear it. "You're only ten!" Juliet's eyes bulged. Everyone's like that when they find out that I am Emo and stuff like that. It's always" But she's only ten!" and I am like, I was born like this.

It's always my age. I heard someone walk in the room. I put my ear buds back in. I just wanted to be left alone. But of course I was forced to put my head up because someone kept tapping my shoulders. I saw some girl that looked like…..Holly?

I guess. She fit the description. "Hello, Captain Short." I gave her my dead stare that made anyone think I was dead. She gasped and pulled up her visor. "How do you know my name?" she had put on the Mesmer. "I read the Artemis Fowl Books by Eion Colfer." I said quietly.

"Have you got that Foaly?" Holly stood up. Something happened and next thing I know I am being carried. "Where are we going?" I asked. "Haven." Someone said and everything went black

How did I do? If you want more I want a review. And then you'll get another chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry. I have just been way busy. And could someone tell me what writers block is?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY ARTEMIS FOWL CHARACTERS. OR Innocence by Avril Lavigne. **

I woke up in a chair everyone staring at me. I swallowed and just stared back. And then the questions started. "How do you know about the People?" Holly asked. "Um…" I was too scared to answer. If I got it wrong, they might hurt me.

"What does that mean?" Artemis asked. So I decided not to talk. I just stared at my feet until Holly forced my head up. "What do you want?" I whispered.

"Answers." She growled. Oh my Hades, she is weird. "Well, give me a little space and maybe I'll answer." I asked. Everyone backed up and I started to answer their questions softly.

"Are you hungry?" Holly asked after at least fifty questions. "Um, n-no thanks." I wish I could go back to my room with my locked door, in my bed, writing songs.

"C-can I g-go h-home?" I stuttered when Artemis, Butler, and Juliet left to go and eat. "What?" Holly turned to me. "Nothing." I whispered numbly and buried my head in my pulled up legs. I felt a couple tears slip, a few, silently.

"Nothing at all." I muttered. Holly tapped my shoulder and forced my head up again. "What's wrong?" she asked softly and tried to suffocate me. "W-why are you trying to suffocate me?" I asked when I managed to pull out of her death hold.

"That was a hug." She sounded hurt. "S-sorry. I thought y-you w-were trying to kill me." I whispered and flinched when she moved her hand to pat my shoulder. "Why are you so scared? If you really know us, you wouldn't be afraid." She was right.

"I-I'm afraid of everything. It's mostly because of h-how I-I am t-treated i-in school. They u-usually punch and k-kick me." I said sadly. "What do they say?" she asked.

"T-that I am fat, have a horrible voice, and cut myself because I am stupid. And they call me dumb and useless to." I swallowed. I never told anyone this. Not even my only friend, Josh.

"You aren't fat. Is that why you don't eat? And you probably don't have a bad voice. Let me hear you sing. I won't tell anyone." She said.

"Yes and I don't know i-if I should. But maybe t-this once." I closed my eyes for a moment and decided. I know I don't know her, but soon I will be back to my home and no one will know.

I took a deep breath. "Waking up I see that everything is okay. The first time in my life and now it's so great. Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed. I think about the little things that make life great. I wouldn't change a thing about it this is the best feeling.

This innocence is brilliance I hope that it will stay this moment is perfect, please don't go away. I need you now. And I'll hold on to it don't you let it pass you by." I sang. Holly just stared at me and I looked down.

"I did bad, didn't I?" I sighed. See, I am so bad. She pulled my face level with hers. "That was amazing." She smiled and I swallowed.

"You really think so?" I turned away. "Yes! You did great. Your friends were so wrong." She laughed. "T-thank you." I nodded and closed my eyes, putting my head back.

I felt like I was sick. I was sweating and hot. I needed to tell her, but I was too scared. She will just reject me and say no, and then hit me and- no, she won't hit me. She's Holly short, she works for the L.E.P. She'll just say no.

No physical contact, thank Frond. Artemis, Butler, and Juliet walked back in, laughing and talking. Well, Juliet was the only one laughing, but the rest were talking.

"Yeah." Juliet laughed. "And I was like- OMG! HI ALEX!" Juliet yelled. I flinched and pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face so I didn't have to look at them. I thought Juliet was awesome in the book, but was too loud in this world.

"Alex?!" She pried my head up and smiled. I winced as she frowned. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing." I whispered, scared if I said anything else she would scream. And I don't like loud things.

"Okay!" she said happily and sat down next to me. My throat hurt, so I swallowed, and that made it hurt more. So I kept doing that over and over, feeling the pain go through me.

I moved away from Juliet a little so I didn't have to sit, like, right next to her. She just moved closer to me. D'Arvit.

Now I was dripping with sweat probably. Okay, maybe I'll ask now. "C-could you turn down the heat?" I asked. "She is sweating quite a lot." Juliet observed.

"It's super cold in here. Only seventy five degrees. But I'll change it if you want. What degree do you want it?" Holly asked and moved to the cold/hot control thingy.

"25." I always had my room like that. "WHAT! Um, okay." Holly was looking at me. As soon as she hit the numbers, the room went like that. I quit sweating and adapted quickly.

"Thank you." I nodded. Holly, Juliet, and Artemis were shivering. "How can you stand this?!" Juliet shivered. "My room i-is this t-temperature. I-I am used t-to it" I looked down. I think Juliet will yell at me because I had my room like that.

"Um, okay." She said awkwardly. "Now, Alex. F-Foaly and I-I are working to figure out h-how to get you h-home." Artemis's teeth chattered. I love the coldness. So cold, like the kids at school.

"O-okay." I whispered. "Are you cold? B-because you are stuttering." Juliet asked. "N-no I am not cold. I j-just don't like talking. W-when I do, I g-get scared and sound l-like this." I explained quietly. "Okay." She made a weird expression.

"For the time being, you will be staying at Fowl Manor." Artemis stated. Interesting. I wonder who made him let me stay with him.

2 hours later…

We were already at the house and Artemis had shown me my room. It was a dark purple , with a window with thick curtains so no light would pass unless wanted. There was a desk with lots of note books and pens. I had my own bathroom and dresser filled with clothes my size.

Since I had minor OCD, I kept everything clean and in groups of five. Once I read Atlantis Complex, I got myself addicted to the number five and hated the number five minus one. It was by accident. Don't say (4) **(A/N This is actually true. I got myself addicted to the number five and am now OCD. I can't stop doing stuff like counting, rearranging and stuff like that. Do not try it.)**it in front of me or I will go crazy.

That would mean I would ask you to say five minus one. That is really crazy if you know my personality. I made my room super cold the way I liked it and started re arranging stuff into groups of five. After I had done that I checked the time. 5:55. I love the time right now.

I sat down on my bed and just stared at the ceiling. The bed wasn't where I usually sat. it was in a chair or in the corner with pillows so I could lie down.

So I sat in the chair and picked up a note book. All of them were blank. I sat down and started writing. _Sorry, the knife just slipped, Didn't mean to cut my wrists, the warmth of blood dripping down, making a puddle on the ground._

I smiled the smallest smile. I liked making poems. They make me happy. I like to express myself through music and poems. Mostly poems, but I make songs to.

Someone knocked on the door and I answered it quickly, not wanting to make the person mad. I guess it was Angeline. "H-hello." I whispered. "Wow, that room is quite cold, hon. Are you sure you are fine? But right now is time to eat. Would you like to join us?" she asked.

"I love t-the cold. And n-no thank y-you. I'm n-not hungry." I was sure she would blow up steaming mad I said no in any minute.

But she didn't. "Oh. Okay. Bye." She turned around and left. I sighed and went back to my poems.

**How'd I do? Good or bad? Review please.**


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